Posted in Reviews

Twilight: Chapter Two

We join Bella at school the next day. She’s cranky because she couldn’t sleep, she got the wrong answer in math class (join the club) and Edward Cullen was not at school. The latter is possibly the weirdest thing to be upset about. Really, you’re upset that the man who glared at you, made you feel like crap, and who was generally rude to you is not in class? Did you want to confront him about it? I think your general lack of a spine in social matters would inhibit that Bella.  Not to mention when you see him you feel the need to interject how beautiful he is, which is infuriating. Why does it matter if he’s hot, if he’s an ass?

“I was relieved that I had the desk to myself, that Edward was absent. I told myself that repeatedly. But I couldn’t get rid of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason he wasn’t there. It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly.”

            Yes it is. So drop it….you’re not going to drop it are you? Sigh. Alright, on with the non-plot.

Bella makes the superficial statement that the Cullens must want to be alone, because no one could possibly have a reason to hate someone beautiful. She assumes because they are rich and they are pretty to look at, they could enter any social circle. Bullshit. People associate with you because you have like interests, you’ve got a good personality, or you have a skill they admire. I can think of plenty of reasons why beauty would exclude you from a social circle.

When Bella gets home we get to see the first hobby or interest that Bella might share with a normal teen girl. She likes to cook. While things are cooking, she e-mails her mother. Her mother is panicking after only one day apart, and Bella’s response is exasperation, as though Renee is some sort of child she has to coddle. She’s a full grown adult, please stop writing your “flighty” character as if she has no brains at all.

Bella wakes to the horror of all horrors, lurking outside her window, waiting to jump, to ruin her life forever.

It’s snowing. Aaaaaah!

Okay, I live in middle America, and while we don’t get the heavy snows that you get closer to the Canadian border, I’m used to cooler temperatures and snow. This is a common theme in a lot of Meyer’s books. Methinks that Meyer is using Bella as a platform for her distaste for snow. Just saying, she acts like its baffling for anyone to like snow.

In other news, Edward Cullen is back in school in chapter two. This is a bit of the crappy pacing that we get with Twilight. It doesn’t seem like much time has passed within the narrative, but we’re later told that Edward was gone for awhile, trying to sort himself out. Jessica, who has much more of a personality than Bella by this point, informs her that Edward is staring. She notes that the Cullens look better physically before she goes to Biology.

In Biology Edward uses his words, and is actually polite, which stuns Bella. Bella is passive aggressive and they both try to impress each other by being know-it-alls. We learn that Bella was in AP courses in Phoenix, implying that she has a brain. Too bad we don’t see it in her life choices.

“’You put on a good show,’ he said slowly. ‘But I’d be willing to bet that you’re suffering a lot more than you let anyone see.’”

Why? Why is Bella suffering? Charlie is nothing but nice. He bought a car for Bella, she’s ahead in her classes, everyone likes her thus far, except for Edward, and he’s being civil. Why is she suffering? Bella’s problems aren’t really problems. She heaps a lot of blame on herself, and it’s not even deserved. Bella didn’t make Renee stay. Renee didn’t tell Bella to go. Charlie is happy to have her. What is the problem here?

Biology ends, we get the first inklings of puppy love from Mike. Edward is in the parking lot when she leaves, and it so distracts her that she nearly runs someone’s car over. Edward finds this all amusing. What an ass.

This chapter gives us very little that we didn’t already know. Except for the mystery of marked physical changes in the Cullens, there’s not a lot to this chapter. Sorry. I wish there was more to mock, but this chapter is mostly skippable.

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