Posted in Reviews

Twilight: Chapter Ten

Edward shows up at Bella’s house unannounced. Now I know I’m not a teenage girl any longer, but I’d like to think that even then I wouldn’t have found this romantic.

Someone showing up at my house or outside it when I’m not expecting it scares the hell out of me. I don’t react to fear well. I’ll be indignant or angry the rest of the time. He didn’t okay this with her beforehand. He didn’t call. I think this is a bit creepy. Of course Bella is charmed by this.

Bella arrives at school, and we see her being interrogated about her “date” with Edward. Bella gets upset that Edward has yet to kiss her.

Why? I mean you’ve only had your first civil conversation that week. I don’t know if I’m in the minority on this, but I like to have a foundation from which to build in relationships. I think that a foundation of friendship, or at the very least civility, ensures a better relationship. Bella is not friends with Edward. They know absolutely nothing about each other. You’re starting to build a relationship from the ground up, which I’ve always found to be insanely difficult. Especially considering the interest that drove Edward to you in the first place was homicidal.

So they go on for a couple of pages about the relationship such as it is, as well as the date. Then we get this lovely gem.

“Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous.” Jessica  shrugged, as if this excused any flaws. Which in her book probably did.

           

            Is the air thinner up there, on your high horse Bella? Don’t give me this crap. You can’t go a chapter without mooning over how beautiful Edward is. Almost all instances of purple prose in this book are devoted to describing how beautiful Edward is. Don’t act like Jessica is shallow for noticing his looks first when the only things you describe in detail are Edward’s pretty face and muscled chest. Oh and continually reminding us that he’s loaded. You’re not shallow at all Bella, are you?

Finally, finally, finally Bella admits to the reader that she’s obsessed with Edward:

“How much do you like him?”

            “Too much,” I whispered back. “More than he likes me. But I don’t see how I can help that.”

            Bella is such a fount of love. No one can possibly love Edward more than Bella does. Her love is just so deep and true and abiding. No one can come between Bella and Edward’s creepy love. And if they do….

Well it’s a moot point anyways, since Edward unrealistically has never been interested in anyone ever. Cause they’re star-crossed lovers damn it.

Bella and Edward talk at lunch, and Bella decides she can now be generous and rescind her opinion that the waitress is a slut for flirting with a hot guy. Bella is definitely not the worst offender I’ve seen in bad books for picking on other women. This one is fairly downplayed, and I only mention it because it’s been mentioned four or five times in the last chapter and three times in this one.

And of course, we can’t go a chapter without Bella mentioning how homely she is.

“I don’t believe it.” I mumbled to myself.

            “Trust me just this once—you are the opposite of ordinary.”

            Mike, Tyler, Eric, Jacob, and Edward all think you’re pretty. Get over yourself and admit there has to be something that they find appealing about you. Stop kicking the dead horse.

Bella and Edward make alternate plans for the weekend instead of driving to Seattle. Bella decides not to tell Charlie about the fact she’s going out with Edward.

“As it happens, I don’t mind being alone with you.”

            “I know,” He sighed, brooding. “You should tell Charlie though.”

            “Why would I do that?”

            His eyes were suddenly fierce. “To give me some incentive to bring you back.”

            Bella, you are being an absolute moron. One, you’re treating Charlie like he’s too stupid to understand anything yet again. He’s a cop and a father and he’s going to be concerned for your welfare and you know it. You don’t want to tell him because you know what you’re doing is idiotic and he’d try to talk reason to you.

Secondly, it’s safer to tell your parents where you’re going. So if you don’t come home or something else were to happen they have some idea where to look for you. This is even more essential in this case, since you’re going in with the very real possibility of the date ending in homicide.

Edward snaps at Bella when she asks to watch him hunt. She asks why the hell he’s suddenly grumpy. He brushes her off and tells her that he’ll explain it later. They leave the cafeteria for class.

We learn almost nothing of value in this chapter. It’s mostly Bella being snotty and having her ego stroked. I recommend skipping this chapter in all honesty.

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